PUT A BIRD ON IT

February 4th, 2011

The Boy bought this ugly little carnival style tiger on a geode slice as a joke to drive me crazy. He likes to stash it around the house for me to find and then hide away from him again. It’s a little game of rotating ugly tchotchke we torture each other with. Well, as he knows all to well, don’t be starting something you can’t finish because I will take it up a thousand notches and destroy you.

Hey there good looking. Cluck cluck cluuuuck.

So, Red McHennypants was found at The Salvation Army of all places. Marked as bric-a-brac for a whopping $2.95, after the store discount she was a great investment at $1.77.

Yes, I know. She is a taxidermy chicken. A vintage secondhand taxidermy chicken. It’s weird and gross, but now the stakes of the rotating ugly tchotchke game have gone way up.

Next time you turn on a light. BOOM. Chicken.

There she is. Waiting for you.

Maybe you want to sit down? OH NO, I put a bird on it.

Eames? Way more uncomfortable with a bird on it.

She lays giant black geodesic ceramic eggs – and looks proud to be doing it.

Where’s Chippy? There she is! Failing to hide…

I’m glad to report that it’s totally working and he immediately told me to get that disgusting thing out of the house. No way. You mess up my vignettes, I mess up your soul.

Also check out Portlandia, where you can PUT A BIRD ON IT.

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    114 Comments

    1. Andrea Howe on 02/04/2011:

      I like your humor. A lot. I think I would go crazy living with you though ;)

    2. Tara on 02/04/2011:

      This totally sounds like something my husband and I would do. Love it.

    3. Ryan on 02/04/2011:

      Looks great on the Eames.

    4. Sarah on 02/04/2011:

      “You mess up my vignettes, I mess up your soul.”
      A+

    5. Anna @ D16 on 02/04/2011:

      OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.

      I can’t even.

      You seriously just moved up about 6 ranks in the Rolodex of my heart, and I didn’t think that was possible.

    6. Suzy8track on 02/04/2011:

      Awesome!

    7. Nita@ModVintageLife on 02/04/2011:

      I don’t know how you are keeping the dogs from eating her.

    8. Summer on 02/04/2011:

      BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    9. Dayna on 02/04/2011:

      I am laughing and crying “ewwwww” at the same time. Funny stuff. The pictures look great though!

    10. Suzanne on 02/04/2011:

      BAha. I had a taxidermied leopard in my house for a month and missed all kinds of opportunities for hilarious shenanigans. You make me regret.

    11. Amanda @ willfuljoyful on 02/04/2011:

      OMG I’m dying! Love it. My mom and a friend of hers have a very lifelike plastic lizard that they hide at each other’s houses when they visit. You open your makeup drawer and BAM! there’s a lizard. You go to water your Aloe Vera plant and BAM! there’s a lizard living there. They don’t scream with fright anymore, but the tradition remains.

    12. laure on 02/04/2011:

      Dude, I want that chicken for purely un-ironic purposes. Badly.

    13. jamie on 02/04/2011:

      you are killing me.

    14. misa on 02/04/2011:

      MORGAN! did you make a reference to tim and eric?

    15. Tonia on 02/04/2011:

      Ok the stuffed chicken is too much for me to handle.

    16. THE BRICK HOUSE on 02/04/2011:

      MISA: OMG no one spots it when I do that. I actually do it a lot…

      I love Tim and Eric!

    17. Nix on 02/04/2011:

      I can’t tell you how much this post made me laugh!! I told my husband we need to find such a stuffed chicken.

    18. misa on 02/04/2011:

      MORGAN! i would like to marry you, please.

    19. ModFruGal on 02/04/2011:

      K..let me catch my breath from the cacklefest I just had…love it.

    20. misa on 02/04/2011:

      btw: “look at them, they’re so in love. i bet they’ll french kiss all night long. i wish we knew which hole he’s gonna poke her through.”

    21. mm on 02/04/2011:

      Most awesome thrift I’ve seen in a good while.

    22. Cait @ Hernando House on 02/04/2011:

      OMG. That is amazing.

    23. Ellen on 02/04/2011:

      This made me laugh. A lot. I think I almost died when I saw the chicken on the lamp.

      Thanks

    24. wes on 02/04/2011:

      was the chicken free-range? did it have friends? can i see it’s papers?

      i might need to venture out to hemet to investigate

    25. Alice in Designland on 02/04/2011:

      LMFAO! Nothin’ says love like a taxidermy chicken!

    26. jeannette on 02/04/2011:

      this is one of those things that gets funnier the longer you think about it. i will be laughing my tail off months from now. bawk BAWK

    27. rosenatti on 02/04/2011:

      You so need to have a monthly find-the-chicken photo contest.

    28. Lauren on 02/04/2011:

      Oh, this sounds like a great game of vengeance. Love it!

    29. Maya on 02/04/2011:

      Bananas.

    30. THE BRICK HOUSE on 02/04/2011:

      You know that bird is going to be in all the backgrounds of my pictures from now on.

    31. Elisa @ What the Vita on 02/04/2011:

      HAHAHA. At first I thought you got a real, actual, live chicken!

    32. Leonie on 02/04/2011:

      Oh man, I have been a long time admirer of this blog, this post takes the cake – pure gold! :)

    33. Jen on 02/04/2011:

      Now, that’s funny!

    34. lizzie on 02/04/2011:

      what a terribly awesome game! hilarious.

    35. Lauren @ chezerbey on 02/04/2011:

      This is spectacular.

      And disgusting.

      But more so spectacular.

    36. Laguna Dirt on 02/04/2011:

      it works.

    37. Jessica Grace on 02/04/2011:

      hilarious and brilliant!

    38. That’s SO hilarious! I like the lamp photo the best – he (or, I guess- she?) looks like she really is hiding.

    39. Adria on 02/04/2011:

      Dude, I totally love reading your blog, but this post was hysterical, like still laughing 5 minutes later. Keep em coming.

    40. Tania on 02/04/2011:

      I love harmless torture. It’s one of my favourite things to inflict on people. But the war is on… what will the boy do to one up you now?

      And honestly… he wins with his tiger geode slice skater. Way more painful to look at than the chicken.

    41. Sharon on 02/04/2011:

      OMG I laughed so hard in front of my computer. Can I quote you on this one, “You mess up my vignettes, I mess up your soul”?

    42. bianca of terri planty on 02/04/2011:

      THIS IS YOUR BEST POST YET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i want one!

    43. Brismod on 02/04/2011:

      Clearly, you’d never fight a battle you can’t win.
      I’d say you win. That chook looks lifelike.

    44. Lara on 02/04/2011:

      Oh my gosh, I’m cracking up! Love your chicken, nothing like an Eames with a bird on it!

    45. Fred on 02/04/2011:

      Chippy the Chook FTW!

    46. Miss Moss on 02/04/2011:

      made my day.

    47. Janine on 02/04/2011:

      Fowl play at it’s best!

    48. Heela@lovely*retro*house on 02/04/2011:

      LOVING IT!!!!!! my husband (who is a hard one to entertain) and I had a good laugh over this one. haha

    49. MN on 02/04/2011:

      Yes, I’m with Nita … how are the dogs coping with the new addition?

    50. Kim @ HousetoHomestead on 02/04/2011:

      I think you’ve definitively proven that you don’t have to have “fun” decor to have actual fun!

    51. THE BRICK HOUSE on 02/04/2011:

      The dogs are not really that concerned – they sniffed it casually and then ignored it. Which means I can bring home all sorts of taxidermy!

    52. Marlene on 02/04/2011:

      So awesome!

    53. Alex Louisa on 02/04/2011:

      HA! This is all kinds of brilliant.

      My mother and I do this with a big, black, realistic plastic spider. Though I must admit I usually hide it in a place I know she’ll go to when I’m visiting. Just so I can witness the scared “BAH!!” It’s been going on about 14 years now and it’s still gold.

      BUT, a taxidermy chicken, is ever better. LOVE.

      I reckon you should keep it up for a good 14 years too.

    54. peggy on 02/04/2011:

      I can’t believe I am actually cracking up over taxidermy. I’m grossed out, but I can’t help it. Hilarious.

      Just when I thought the burl tables were the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen….

    55. Mea on 02/04/2011:

      EPIC!!!! But again, NSFW!!!

    56. Gems on 02/04/2011:

      Oh the hilarity! This officially made my Friday. I literally thought you’d bought a chicken… ahh

    57. ruthanne on 02/04/2011:

      This is absolutely hysterical. Reminds me of the stuffed squirrel dressed as granny in a rocking chair my brother-in-law gave us for christmas one year. love this – you totally made my day!

    58. laurenjanelle on 02/04/2011:

      hahahaha. I love it. I saw the Put a Bird on it video a few days ago and thought it was genius. that’s an amazing chicken you have.

    59. john on 02/04/2011:

      This is the best. thing. ever.

    60. Ashley on 02/04/2011:

      HIGHlarious…are your pups fans of the chicken?

    61. bethany on 02/04/2011:

      this is so fucked up, i love it.

    62. Laura on 02/04/2011:

      Love the chicken. But not to be a kill joy, a lot of old taxedery was done using arsenic as a preservation method. I work in the museum field where this is a regular health concern.

    63. Cheryl on 02/04/2011:

      I just almost spit coffee on my keyboard.

    64. Kelly on 02/04/2011:

      Not to be weird, but I really, really love you.

    65. erin@designcrisis on 02/04/2011:

      Chippy is very upset not to have a trio of taxidermy chicks.

      Also, I drink arsenic for breakfast.

    66. jennifer on 02/04/2011:
    67. angie on 02/04/2011:

      LOL. You know what, it works for me.

    68. Lisa on 02/04/2011:

      I too love you. Please leave the Boy and come be with me, I promise u caulk until death do us part.
      It must have been sooo hard keeping a straight face while waiting for the Boy to find it the first time.
      Now I’m regretting throwing out my grandparent’s gross stuffed hawk.

    69. Shauna on 02/04/2011:

      so.awesome.

      and the messing up your soul comment almost made me spill my drink. so funny.

    70. Tami on 02/04/2011:

      Best. Post. Ever.

    71. DirectionsNotIncluded on 02/04/2011:

      Hysterical. Something I would do to torture the husband but I’m sure my dogs would shred it to pieces.

    72. Lisa on 02/04/2011:

      I love it!! My sis does the same kind of thing to me. Last time i came home to seven flocked ceramic mice, hidden all over the house – the first one IN THE MICROWAVE gave me a smallish heart attack.

    73. kimberly ann on 02/04/2011:

      I really, really thought you had bought a live chicken when I saw the first photo. I was worried about it crapping on your awesomeness. Taxidermy is much better! Reminds me of the taxidermy duck that a previous boyfriend had. My dog loved it a little too much and it lost it’s beak. It’s still funny. He had it coming. ;)

    74. Beth @ the Modern Home on 02/04/2011:

      So funny! I love the lamp shot!

    75. Dan @ Manhattan Nest on 02/04/2011:

      Oh Morgan. You kill me. Amazing.

    76. Gloria Graham, AKBD on 02/04/2011:

      Ok, hands down the funniest post I’ve ever read (and I read a lot)

    77. Chelsea on 02/04/2011:

      Hilarious! I just saw the Portlandia video the other day and its awesome. This totally made my day!

    78. emily on 02/04/2011:

      if you even THINK of getting rid of that thing, get in touch w me. seriously. i will gladly take it off your hands.

    79. Alex on 02/04/2011:

      Looks the best on the Womb chair, we are ordering them again in 10 days..check out me Blog for details.

    80. Jenna on 02/04/2011:

      That is so funny! I’m so in love with Portlandia and I love your interpretation. I laughed every time I scrolled down to the next image. My husband and I have a similar game with a small, carved wooden chicken we bought when we went to Kauai.

    81. Rachel on 02/04/2011:

      It looks so alive!!!

    82. .amanda. on 02/04/2011:

      SO good! ha…

      I can’t believe your pups don’t go after her and shred her ass…

    83. Colleen on 02/04/2011:

      I like the way your play the game!

    84. dulcie on 02/04/2011:

      Speaking of Portlandia, is that Colin?

    85. Susan on 02/04/2011:

      Poor Boy. He and his El Tigre never had a chance.

    86. A. McDavid on 02/04/2011:

      this! made! my! weekend!

    87. the vintage cabin on 02/05/2011:

      I actually kind of like that gross old taxidermy chicken…

      I’ll be waiting to see if the bar can be raised another level by the boy. If so, watch out! Your house could end up being a decor freak show in no time. Can’t wait!

    88. Susan on 02/05/2011:

      Do they make a ‘common law’ anniversary card?

    89. THE BRICK HOUSE on 02/05/2011:

      Nope. It’s a sadly overlooked partnership.

    90. Anna on 02/05/2011:

      hilarity!

    91. Vanessa on 02/05/2011:

      Hahaha! If you ever start selling things on Etsy again, you could use that hot chick (no pun intended) as your prop photo :)

    92. eva on 02/05/2011:

      awesome.

    93. Jaime from Design Milk on 02/05/2011:

      I think this might be my most favorite post of yours ever.

    94. Heather from San Diego on 02/05/2011:

      My mom brought home a stuffed hen from an antique shop once. A few weeks later it started to smell so she asked a local taxidermist what to do. He told her to put it in the freezer for like a week and it would kill any bacteria that was causing smells. Now, I was probably 12 at the time, she didn’t tell me Henrietta was kicking it in the freezer for a bit, and I went for a cup of ice cream from the freezer one night. Scariest shit ever!

    95. Jayme on 02/05/2011:

      Awesomeness. I laughed out loud when I read this. Totally something I would do.

    96. Logan on 02/06/2011:

      I’ve been begging my girlfriend to let me get chickens to keep in our backyard, but I think that stuffed one would be even harder to bring home. That thing is awesome and if i see one at a flea market I’m sneaking it out to the car.

    97. Alexandra on 02/06/2011:

      One word: Amazing.

    98. Jessica on 02/06/2011:

      Awww. I really kind of hoped you’d gone mad and brought home a live hen…

      But I have to say, I really do love her on top of the lamp.

    99. Tamoto on 02/06/2011:

      I think im the one hundreth comment! do I get a microwave? You are so funny. I just decided I like you as a person.I better hurry up and post this before somebunny snakes my hundreth place!

    100. The brick house on 02/06/2011:

      You didn’t like me as a person? Better as an abstract mist of some sort? Maybe as a caribou?

      You get nothing but Internet immortality. Better than a microwave, me thinks.

    101. Tina on 02/06/2011:

      Funniest thing I’ve read anywhere in ages! I laughed so hard I had tears when I saw the ex-chicken! Hilarious post!

    102. db on 02/06/2011:

      Too funny :)

    103. Michelle on 02/07/2011:

      That is so funny , by the way I have the exact same chicken here. well not exactly the same… its alive but I swear they could be twins.

    104. Nicola on 02/07/2011:

      This is the funniest thing I’ve read all year!

    105. meemsnyc on 02/07/2011:

      Hahahahah, this was awesomely funny!

    106. pam on 02/07/2011:

      ROFLMAO at you two. And happy that I may (finally) be in a relationship that is similarly fun.

    107. Mihai Herman on 02/08/2011:

      Now this is interesting :)) i’ve never saw something similar to this before, but it looks pretty awesome. A chicken in a photo-shooting, you guys really made me laugh. Great job and keep on surprising us with such interesting pictures.

      Have a great day,

    108. Samantha on 02/09/2011:

      My husband said you should hide it under the covers next to The Boy’s pillow one night.

    109. The brick house on 02/09/2011:

      Don’t think I haven’t. ;-)

    110. mim's the word on 02/10/2011:

      OMGGG, BEST POST EVERRRRR!!! Love the Taxidermy chicken, if you ever want to let it go, let me have a go at torturing my lovely husband with it. If not, I’ll just have to wait until our real chickens’ (we have 3 live ones) time is up to stuff them and have them haunt us forever.

      Please, please, pretty please, include the chick in all your future photos!

    111. Pistachio on 02/10/2011:

      That just made my morning. It looks she is still alive. God, what was his reaction the first time he say it? So funny!
      Cheers!!

    112. Grumble Girl on 02/12/2011:

      Oh. My. Soul.

      My sister and I have such a game – we play it between Toronto and Montreal… but it’s a DVD of Mrs. Doubtfire we’re constantly stashing in each other’s houses. Not quite the same, though the chicken is JUST as hilarious. Holy crap, that’s funny…

    113. Julie @ Chapman Interiors on 02/14/2011:

      this fucking chicken is KILLING me. argh. I want a surprise taxidermy chicken.

    114. Heather on 02/23/2011:

      you are hilarious…i honestly laughed out loud!

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